Feedback takes preparation.

Sam Harrowfield.

Many feedback discussions fail because the person bringing up the issue isn’t prepared enough. They haven’t worked through the issues themselves or put themselves in the right frame of mind.

It is essential to prepare emotionally and mentally for a constructive feedback conversation. This involves getting clear about your goals for the conversation and being genuinely curious and empathetic about what the other person’s story might be.

Things to consider:

〉 Get organised. Good feedback conversations don’t ‘just happen’. Take time to plan what you want to say.

〉 Take care not to decide what the person’s core problem is, what you’ll discuss and what the solution will be BEFORE you have a conversation with them.

〉 Don’t plan to make the negative feedback sound positive. Just be clear and genuine about the feedback.  The positive – negative – positive sandwich (AKA 💩 sandwich) is sooooo 80’s and it’s welcome to stay there.

〉 Remember: we don’t change when we’re comfortable; we change when we’re uncomfortable. Be prepared that speaking the truth about a failure or an oversight will be uncomfortable – for you and for them!

〉 Practice!  Rehearse the conversation before you have it. Anyone who’s good at giving feedback is good because they work at it. Hearing yourself say the words helps to refine the message.

〉 Feedback should be given with as little delay as possible, as people tend to react more positively to feedback that is delivered earlier rather than later.

〉 Ensure that the timing is appropriate for the person hearing the feedback (e.g. not a time of high stress), that the duration is long enough to cover the issue and their response, and that the location is distraction-free and conducive to an honest conversation.

Taking the time to prepare for your feedback conversations will give you your best shot at getting the change in behaviour you hope to see.

—–
We’re in the training business – human skills to be precise. We help people to understand themselves, understand others and therefore communicate in a more effective, meaningful way when they are at work. We love it!

I’m Sam Harrowfield, and together with my partner Ruth, we run Harrowfield People Development, a strategic learning agency based in Auckland, New Zealand.

We draw on the disciplines of organisational and behavioural psychology to provide fit-for-purpose experiences that build capability and confidence.

We help business leaders to bring out the potential that they see in their people by shaping habits of thinking, communication and action in the workplace. ☎️ Talk to us today 📱